here i am, on a wednesday night. trying to finish up the ethics essay. im thinking about so many things. and i concluded that im finally turning psychotic,

not just paranoid anymore.

when i was growing up, i was listening to mj- my father used to blast his music.
i met the love of my life while he was rehearsing to smooth criminal.

his legacy lives on.

today is perhaps one of the most depressing days of my life.

two people that i thought i could depend on most, turn their backs on me. all in a span of what? 2 hours? (to top it all, im cursed with pms) the prevalent issue here is lack of trust. i guess im not the most trusted person on earth, but the least is they could do is to try to understand that i do not depend on them for no other reasons than trust itself. or at least, the thought of it.

what a complete fool ive been to have that thought of them trusting me. or me trusting them.

"And you will find someone worth walking on,
when you ask me to go."

going to the library with the children is not as taxing as i thought it would be.. at least, it beats teaching them (esp tt one particular girl) and staring into their books as i watch them do their work. maybe i should have a monthly library outing with each and every of them... hahaha! mcm makan gaji buta, if you know what i mean. although it wasnt all fun and laughter, i think the kids enjoyed it. well, at least i hope so..

these 2 weeks i was feeling really good with the chalet, bbq and all- except pia's essay and weekly quiz 7. totally dampen my self-proclaimed holiday mood. and worse, i finished the essay in a day (beat my previous record of 2 days). i started on the day i was supposed to turnitin and everything. like i told my mum.. i took quite a while to bounce back from the chalet mood. i loved the chalet! although i had an issue with the common toilet, i totally enjoyed the kampung hut. we gotta go there again someday! huhu. i feel so lazy sometimes i wish i could hire somebody to do my work, housework, schoolwork... everything lah.

7 yr old syarina has resorted to walking around the house naked. with her white panties on. making herself ice milo to drink every one hour or so. ever since i woke up this morning... ive heard complaints and complained myself, on how absolutely hot and humid the weather is. since yesterday we've stashed bottles of mineral water into the freezer cos we dont think the refrigerator's cold enough for us anymore..

i think i got over the 3520 presentation. i admit it did depressed me.. i was snapping at someone so bad he got hurt (sorry again).. i slept the whole feeling off. i think its nt fair that his instructions are never clear. its like only the people who has the same wavelength as him would somehow understand what the hell he wants from us. its like you're shooting your bullets in all directions, hoping that one or two would somehow hit the mark. how like that??

frankly speaking i have no mood to start on my week 5 quiz. i think ive put in soo much effort for 2130 last week.. so much so that i dont want to touch any of it this week. ive got media law presentatn and essay up tmr and i think i'd rather spent my time on that. i think we have put in way too much effort for 3 worth of marks. for that 3 marks, i feel like im doing a 1.5k essay. THREE MARKS. ITS RIDICULOUS WHEN I THINK OF IT AGAIN.

last week wasnt what i thought it would be. i had something else in mind..
but then again, life dont always go like how you want it to be. im just very thankful to Allah for giving me patience- something that ive always been lacking.
i just hope we can learn to accept each other's flaws.

anw, i am so loving katy perry's waking up in vegas video. i love her make up and costumes there!! well actually, she looked great in thinking of you too.. but i love her pink showgirl costume in her latest video. she's really pretty, i think i might develop a crush on her!!